I often question my reasoning for existance or the reasoning for anything at all. Not that I'm depressed or anything, there's just some things a girl can't take anymore. It seems like these past few months have been the worst. It's been a revolving door with people coming in and out of my life as they please. And my head aches from the constant gossip and rumors and such. It just doesn't seem quite right that all this could happen to one girl within such a short amount of time. And yet it continues. On and on until the breaking point--of which i have come close to far too many times--.
Is this nothing more than the sad, bitter and worn-out complaining of someone with nothing left? I would like to think that everyone has the equal right and ability for a "second chance"--or third or fourth, however many it takes--. And throughout my whining I come to the conclusion that maybe I need these things to go wrong in my life..to inspire me to think further and deeper and to write down my thoughts and compose things. Then again, why should someone have to go through pain to succeed. Shouldn't we all get happiness handed to us on a fancy gold platter? Or do we all start off the same and gradually become what we are today. Is there a so-called "fate"? Could our lives be mapped out for us already to be lived. That would take away all hope. I would feel useless for not being able to controll my own future. Suppose that is why we don't know all the answers?
In time. In time.